So a pope, a pedophile, and a rapist walks into a bar… He asks for a drink. ^^^^Take ^^^^as ^^^^much ^^^^time ^^^^as ^^^^you ^^^^need ^^^^to ^^^^think ^^^^about ^^^^it…

A man walks into an elevator and looks at the woman standing inside. He says, “Can I smell your feet?” She responds, “Ew no” “Must be your pussy then.”

Did you hear about the guy who taught a group of dung beetles to play baseball? Yup, and thats just the bug inning.

Word of the day: exhaustipated. Too tired to give a shit.

What do you call the study of Japanese sound? Yakuztics

Women, you can’t live with ’em… And you can’t cut their heads off and gang-rape their corpses. Not alone at least. Get your buddies to help.

What is the difference between a girl and a pool table? You have a shot with a pool table.

After the man was named bishop by the church, what was his next move? Diagonal

I popped my dad’s viagra now I’m hard as a motherfucker

*interrupts your heartfelt story* Oh NOW I hear your New York accent!! Say “dying wish” again! Ok now say “coffee”!