What do you call an ant who likes to be alone ? An independant !

Why can’t you ever trust a cat? Because they are always lion

The Bible wouldn’t sound so preachy if every commandment was followed by the word “dude.”

“I mean if you do the math the most weight I can really gain from the pound of pumpkin pie I ate tonight is only one pound” I thought fatly.

What do you call a bird with 3 wings and 3 legs? Triangull

By my calculations, I’ve spent approximately $39 throughout my life to watch bananas turn brown on my kitchen table

Why do lesbians have cats? They’re into pussies.(;

Fact: all boots were made for walking.

I’m not saying my ex is crazy,but The only way to take her picture, is with a Bi-Polaroid

The ancient Egyptians loved cat videos.