My dog left me christmas present under the tree I had to clean it up

Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour? Pupil: Because it can’t sit down!

“A Bunch of Stuff I Remembered and Then Compiled into a Narratively Cohesive Yet Inconsistently Compelling Tome: A Memoir”

Rape fantasy Guy: “Wanna do a rape fantasy?” Woman: “No!” Guy: “That’s the spirit”

Obama: Get Air Force One ready. Biden: OK! *runs off* Obama: The plane, not the movie. *Biden does 360* Biden: Yeah I know.

Son, here is a photo of a naked lady. Please identify the following parts: beanplug, malm, The Crow’s Eye, underback, velveeta, DataZone

Whats black and eats pussy? Cervical cancer.

I apologized to the librarian if I appeared desperate, after all… I asked her to check me out…

Another blonde joke A professor told his class: “Fame will come to you only after you succeed!” A blonde asked, “Who is ‘Seed’?”

I’m trying to not be horny all the time but it’s hard