why dont jewish people like getting made fun of? Because millions of them already got roasted

Over Christmas, my Mexican friend told me why they have the tradition of making tamales instead of other traditional foods. It’s so they have something to unwrap.

I had no internet or cable last night and I was left with my thoughts. I guess that’s why the pioneers usually died so young.

There is no “g” in paradigm. “You’re thinking of phlegm,” she says. Well now I am.

Is your pH 14? Cause you’re a basic bitch

picked up a bag of 98% reduced fat chips at the store today there were only 2 damn chips in the bag

A Woman’s tongue & Man’s eye, will rest’ only when they die.

overheard some guy say “finals week sucks.” little does he know, everything sucks

It’s impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone.

My friend has the Koran on DVD… I asked him if he could burn me a copy.