I was nervous about meeting new people on a cruise… … until I realised, we are all in the same boat.

Have you ever looked at someone’s phone’s selfie wallpaper and look at the owner and look again at their selfie and back again to the owner?

What’s the hardest part about rollerskating? Explaining to your dad that you’re gay

Um, I’m not “complaining” of chest pains *glares at paramedic* don’t make this heart attack sound bratty

THIS IS MY LOCKER ROOM TALK GUY: Hey, do you know if they supply towels here? ME: Please don’t look at me, my shirt is off.

What’s the hardest part of skydiving? The ground.

How do you make something go viral? Herpes.

So, I just heard about the 7.5 earthquake in New Zealand… Seems a lot of people are shaken up about it.

What did the architect say about the rack? How does she not fall over?

Studs put the stds in u.