I met a girl with 12 Nipples, sounds funny? Dozen tit

I found out my best friend was a heroin addict… Needles to say, that friendship ended quickly.

Where did Cookie Monster develop PTSD? Viet-nom nom nom nom nom.

“I heard you were responsible for like 30 million deaths. That’s crazy.” Jimmy Fallon interviewing Stalin

How does a cow add and subtract? With a cowculator.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob

If a vegetarian eats vegetables… What does a humanitarian eat?

What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months? I think we should sea otter people.

Willie Nelson? (NSFW) What is the worst thing Willie Nelson could say to you while you are giving him a blowjob? I’m not really Willie Nelson

What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? Halfway