Why is a praying muslim like apple pie with ice cream? Both are in *a la mode*.

Then there was the noodle who wanted all his life to be an M… but when he finally got his wish, no one believed him cause he was an M pasta…

How to 4-dimensional aliens get around? In Tralfamadoloreans.

While digging a hole today I found a bunch of old gold coins. I ran in to tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging a hole.

If you’re not part of the solution… … you are part of precipitate.

What did the double hand amputee get for Christmas? I don’t know, he hasn’t managed to open it yet.

What do you call souvenirs from the last battle of the Napoleonic wars? Wat-heirlooms.

Why hasn’t Mexico got an Olympic team? Because the ones who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S

The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti

So I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced it with but I’ve been tripping all day.