Who lost a herd of elephants ? Big bo peep !

Does anyone use question marks properly anymore.

If Trump wins I’m moving to my last Sim City 2000 save file.

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.

I’m going to nap so hard today, my pillow Is going to need a cigarette when I’m done with it

I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

R.I.P Satoru Iwata He’s pushing Peaches and Daisies now.

Why a man should ever want to marry a woman is a mystery. Why a man should ever want to marry 2 women is a bigamistery.

What’s the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits till you’re 14 to come on your face

Why did the chicken… …cross the Mobius strip?