Dude, relax. Nothing wrong with a little experimenting. You’re making a brokeback mountain out of a brokeback molehill.

“I couldn’t love anyone like you,” I told my wife. “Aw, thanks,” she blushed. I’m glad she didn’t understand me.

Everything is rightly confused.

I call bullshit, airport baby changing station! I wanted an Asian baby but I’m stuck with the white kid I flew in with.

Expert Archer Detected How do you know if someone’s an expert archer? Put an apple on your head & stand still; he’ll Tell you.

Please, call me Seahorse. Mr. Seahorse was my mother.

HORSE: *walks into a bar* BARTENDER: Why the long face? HORSE: Updog BARTENDER: What’s updog? HORSE: Not much just walking into a bar

How many skateboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in and one to film it. **Alternate Ending** One, but it takes him fifty tries.

I know the real reason the Pope is resigning. He finally realized that they were never going to promote him to God.

Did you hear the iPhone 6S Plus is selling really well? Seems like it’s a big 6S