Have you heard the slogan for Charles Dickens Brand Hard Cider? There is nothing quite like a hard Dickens’ Cider!

I was cutting up vegetables in the kitchen… …and was promptly arrested

I was thinking of shaving my beard But it really grew on me.

Where do ghoulies go to on the day before Halloween party? To the boo-ty parlour.

My wife gained more than 100 pounds during pregnancy, so I started walking 5 miles every day to encourage her. It’s been three months and now I’m over 300 miles away from home.

So my brother is dating a mermaid. Yeah, apparently their relationship’s on the rocks.

Why did the Irishman put 239 beans in the soup pot? Because any more would be too farty.

What do you call it when a fish fucks his sister? Fincest. (This joke is shitty, I know, but I couldn’t resist posting it.)

What is the difference between Donald Trump and Bill Clinton? Ivanka didn’t keep the dress

Why do the versions of Windows jump from 8 to 10? Because no one wanted Windows Nein!