What do you call a Burberry Style Transforming Truck? Optimush Prime… Hahaaa.

What do you get if you cross the Internet with a currant bread? Spotted click

How do you spell Canada? C-Eh?-N-Eh?-D-Eh?

Bill Clinton is so getting laid tonight. Hillary is in Indonesia.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was actually a double cross. He had to cross the road in order to gain the trust of the other side.

Me: *goes to jail for murdering coworkers* Boss: You’re still coming in early tomorrow, right?

I’m not an olympic sprinter, I just run like one when my ex wants to talk.

Cop: Tell us what you know! Me: Penguins are monogamous creatures with noted cases of bisexuality Cop: *typing up his science report*

what do you call sodium chloride crossed with a poisonous writing utensil from out the sea a salt with a deadly wetpen *hides*

Two biologists have twins. They named one Jessica, and named the other Control.