There once was a man from Nantucket… Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin: “If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it.”

What was Han Solo’s reaction to being taken to the carbon-freezing chamber? He was petrified.

What is a Mexican weather report? Chilli today hot tamale.

Oh man what’s it called when you keep doing the same thing over & over but keep getting the same result? Oh yeah, I’m a serial killer.

It’s kinda sad that Shakira’s hips are our generation’s George Washington.

Once evolution gets around to it, it’s going to be an awkward few months for the first dude born without nipples.

What did one testicle say to the other testicle ago was aggravating him? You’re being very teste

Legal tip for men: if you get a free t shirt at a bar, you’re not required to keep it forever, like they can’t arrest you if u throw it out.

I’ve been looking for the lid for this Tupperware container and somehow I’m now three weeks late for work.

My high-school wrestling coach called me “the raccoon” cause I was small but feisty and ate garbage and gave people lyme disease