Two guys walk into a bar. Which was dumb, because the second one should have ducked!

Redneck word of the day Rectum Ex. I had two good four wheelers but then I rectum.

What is black and stuck to the ceiling? A crappy electrician

What kind of fish will help you hear better ? A herring aid !

What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel a poodle and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo!

Ever since those 2 weeks in 2008 when no one noticed I was missing, I won’t go into a corn maze without a machete.

Caspar: I was the teacher’s pet last year. Jaspar: Why was that? Caspar: She couldn’t afford a dog.

My girlfriend got gang raped by a group of mimes… They did unspeakable things to her.

[OC] What does a blind pessimist say? “What glass?”

Why don’t Pirates get invited to Birthday parties? Because they always steal doubloons