Did You Hear About the Man who was Arrested for Possessing NaCl and an Electrical Source? He was arrested for a salt and battery!

Rise and shine to all the beautiful women of the world. Ugly women, don’t get greedy, go back to sleep, your time is coming, at night.

Everyone’s inner douche comes out when naming their wifi network.

Tips African country M’lawi

Reddit is like my ex. The biggest time waster ever.

Recreational drugs? No thanks, I went pro years ago.

Who is tall, orange-skinned, blatantly racist, should not be a politician, and makes everyone groan whenever he appears on TV? Jar Jar Binks

How do you catch a unique bird ? Unique up on it. How do you catch a tame bird ? Tame way unique up on it.

FRIEND: do u want to hang out this weekend ME: generic excuse FRIEND: did u just say “generic excuse”

You know what really makes my day? The rotation of the earth