If video games were really bad for you, then the entire Pac-man generation would be eating pills and running away from their problems Oh wait.

I like my women like I like my tea. In a bag, underwater.

I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

I like people getting mad at airlines for snow-relayed delays/cancellations. You think companies that incompetent can control the weather?

“Man cave” – Russian who has yet to get a full grip on our language, except mostly slang terms, describing the end of a couple’s argument

There aren’t that many casinos in Africa. Cause there are too many cheetahs. And if you meet one who claims he isn’t a cheetah, he’s probably lion to you.

I could lose weight simply by not eating the food I drop onto my shirt.

The man who invented the jigsaw has died. May he rest in pieces.

Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common? A: They both wriggle when you eat them.

Have you tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they