OMG I forgot to read my horoscope and now I have no idea what life has in store for me today!!!!!!

Some people can have all the lights on and still be in the dark.

Did you hear about the Piano Teacher that slept with his student? She was A Minor.

She said yes! Unfortunately, the question was “Are you sure you want to break up?”

Why don’t women have men’s brains?Because they don’t have penises to put them in.

How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner.

60% of all secretaries can type… The other 40% are huntn’ peckers.

The Greek dilemma: If you are swimming in a sea of shit and someone throws a turd at you, do you duck?

According to really smart people I should have started saving 20 years ago.

why did both ass-cheeks get fired from work? One was always left behind causing the other to half-ass everything