There are two types of people in the world. 1. Those that can finish lists.

What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed? Thanks for the handy cap.

I went to band camp and all I got was… This shirt that said: I’ll Allegro your vibrato!

My mind says “no” but my heart says “yes”, all my vital organs speak English, it’s very confusing and loud

How can environmental scientists stay on top of the global warming issue? They climate.

Zoos shouldn’t have realistic sculptures of animals. I’m not that smart, people.

A general calls a colonel: – Do you have a couple of smart majors? – Yes I do. – Send them to me. I need to move my furniture around.

Like a good neighbor, StateFarm is…

How do zombies communicate in times of war? Cryptic code.

I like my women like quality agronomy soil… ..good penetration to 8″, bare surface, and minimal crust.