Did you hear about Trump’s tax plan? Declare that the US has a $900 million loss so we all don’t have to pay taxes!

Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name? Worst. Spy. Ever.

I really want to take my girlfriend out to dinner… …But she asks way too much per hour.

What is DJ Khaled’s favorite number? 11, because it is another 1.

*whispers in bed* I want to try something with you I’ve never done before *engages in a loving and mutually beneficial adult relationship*

How do you shut Donald Trump up? Muzzle-im

Reddit is like Playboy Nobody reads the articles…

Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election? To Make America Great Again

This year’s Christmas must-haves? Food, water and shelter! #theclassics

My mom told me not to hang out with bad girls, she never said don’t be one.