Anti-humor Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

He died doing what he loved: typing his symptoms into WebMD instead of going to the doctor

What do you call a person who looks at a glass half-empty? An Alcoholic.

she had the body of Serena Williams and the penis of Serena Williams

I once knew a guy named Rob. I once new a guy named Rob, for a dollar he would suck on your knob. For a half dollar more, you could get the whole score And he would eat it like it was his job

[at SunMaid farms with a guy] Guy: so is this a date? Girl:… No? These are raisins

How do you make a hormone? Pay well, and give her the best time you can.

Some days having kids makes it all worthwhile. I haven’t experienced any yet, but statistically they’re bound to happen at some point.

Little known fact: If you ride any animal in the zoo for more than 30 seconds… it’s yours to keep.

According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid.