When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body… Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

What Metallica song does Captain America hate? Trapped Under Ice.

“Grandpa, get out of the bathtub. You’ll get cold and die.” Grandpa got out of the bathtub, got cold, and died…

“I’m cold” – a talking ice cube or a woman

Why did the pirate become a tenor? Because he has a lot of experience on the high C.

How do you raise a baby elephant ? With a fork lift truck !

What did Paul Revere say when he got on his horse? Giddy up horsey !

I just bought some “ribbed cotton tank t-shirts” at WalMart. You’d think that’d be the one place on earth they’d call them wifebeaters.

What does a geography graduate do with a lightbulb? Not get a job.

Tax time is when I’m grateful that I’m detal oriented.