Why didn’t the hipster have HIV? He fucked Charlie Sheen before he was cool.

“Keep that upside-down frown right where it is!” – Botox Patient Saying

How do weathermen get up a mountain? They climate

Why did Mary fell from the swing ? Because she hasn’t got arms !

Dead memes are like dead babies They never get old.

Heard a Beethoven piece & a Ke$ha song yesterday. Which one is deaf again?

Engineering joke At work today I told an engineer I liked the cool shapes in his design. “Oh, it’s not intentional,” he responded. “It’s mostly in compression.”

A blind judge conducted a trial.. And even after no one managed to provide a substantial incriminating evidence he still condemned the defendant. he couldn’t see the truth.

Black Friday through the years: 2005: 5am 2010: 3am 2012: 12am 2013: Thursday 8pm 2014: Thursday 2020: 4th of July

Did you hear about the kid who slept through every class in school? He got all z’s.