“open up, this is the police!” “well, I’ve felt alone since my girlfriend left me, I’m sad all the time-” “no the door open up the door”

(Warning, this is worse than those laffy-taffy jokes) Why don’t engineers have sex with much frequency? Because it hertz!

Guy goes to his psychotherapist wearing nothing but some transparent underpants the doctor says, “I can clearly see your nuts”

What group would an obese racist join? The cake-cake-cake.

OK, so they have GPS that can navigate you all the way across the country…why can’t someone invent a device that can remind you why you went into a room?

Women freeze their eggs until they are ready to be a mom? Can I freeze my two year old until I’m ready?

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 did 9/11

American Beer is liking having sex in a canoe… It’s fucking close to water. Heard this from a Dutch friend of mine and thought I would share.

I don’t have shit to say and

Girlfriend My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her. I said, ‘Alright, fatty.’