What did one snowman say to the other? I think I smell carrots!

Wanna hear a pizza joke… never mind it’s too cheesy

Why did Adele cross the road? So she could say hello from the other side (If this has already been posted I might cry I thought I made this all up on my own haha)

When Chuck Norris goes swimming he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.

There’s this great joke I read on 9gag…

Me: My stomach hurts. WebMD: You’re a kid, trying to get out of something.

What kind of milk do the wealthiest people in the world give to their children? 1%

Why did the condom go flying through the air? He was pissed off. (It took me an embarrassing amount of time to get this one.)

Is it okay to marry your second cousin? [xpost from /r/dadjokes] Sure, as long as you’re legally divorced from the first one.

The worst thing you could hear after orally pleasing Willie Nelson. I’m not Willie Nelson.