My teacher asked me what a main feature of a greek tragedy was…. Apparently Bankruptcy was the wrong answer.

Took my girlfriend to a baseball game this last season We made a deal in the beginning. I kiss her on every strike and she kisses me on the balls.

MOPEDS AND FAT LADIES What do mopeds and fat ladies have in common? They’re both a great ride until someone sees you on one.

Did you hear about the new transgender operation? It’s called a strapadictomy

I Wish I had Trump As A Teacher Citations would be super easy “You know it, I know it, everyone knows it”

Why did the Scarecrow lose the debate? “All he had was a straw-man argument.”

A woman walks into a library and says to the bloke behind the counter, “Have you got any books on the female clitoris?” The bloke says, “Yes we have madame, but I don’t know where they are.”

Fishing… It’s like sex. The less you get the more you lie.

Why would you pay $80 for a bra at Victoria’s Secret when I will hold your boobs up all day for half that?!

Parents, stop giving your kids these crazy names. I just found a love letter my son wrote to a girl named “Steven!”