Have you heard about the new up and coming racially biased dice game? They’re calling it nazi

Have you heard about the guy who posted about a mod’s cousin? Once removed.

If a cat catches all the mice on your property… does that make it squeaky clean?

What does Tony Stark call his semen? Pepper spray

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory… but you couldn’t park anywhere near the place. [credit to Stephen Wright]

It’s raining, It’s pouring… I really should be snoring. I cleared my head with sudafed I won’t get to sleep until morning. (I know, I know, it’s not really a joke because it’s true)

I’ve got a friend who is a structural engineer. He’s always complaining about stress at work. EDIT: damn I wish I got karma for this post.

A Scotsman walks into a bar…. There is usually an Englishman, an Irishman and a Welshman, but they’re all still in France 🙁

Like The Purge but everyone is tryin to murder Tim Allen & become the next Santa. Pls donate on kickstarter so I can finally feed my family.

A penny saved… … is 350 Trillion Zimbabwe dollars earned!