What’s DJ Khalid’s favorite number? 11, because it has another one.

What do you call a Black Man flying a Plane? The Pilot you racist fuck.

A magician was driving through a neighborhood… and then he turned into a driveway.

I used to have a voice like Justin Bieber… then I turned four.

I don’t always tell Dad jokes, but when I do, he tells me to get my fucking life together and stop being a disappointment.

Our conscience is clear- we don’t use it.

Q: Do ghouls eat popcorn with their fingers? A: No, they eat their fingers separately.

Have you heard about the restaurant on Mars? The food is great, but the atmosphere is lacking.

A crime boss works part time selling grass to people in his home city… I went over to his shop and asked if I could help him with his sales. He told me to stay off his turf.

The drone on Mars ran over a feline organism. That’s right – Curiosity killed the cat