What do NRA members and the UCC shooting victims have in common? Both will never get a college degree.

What was Hitler’s favorite drink? Orange jews.

“Sorry, I don’t date block guys.”- racist lego woman.

If you were to write a direct, very short introduction for Microsoft Office’s word processor, it might be a… …forward four-word foreword for Word.

Nobody uses DVDs. Most of em’ use Torrents. Hence DVD Rip

Why can’t Matthew McConaughey make a left turn? Because he’s *alright alright alright*.

My girlfriend left me because she said I’m a “Clueless idiot.” I didn’t even know I had a girlfriend.

What is the awesomest/funniest or even smartest joke u’ve ever heard

You can put Hillary Clinton supporters into two baskets. The basket of adorables, and the basket of deportables.

ME: want anything for breakfast? BOSS: just banana [struggling to hold office door shut] ANA: let me in! ME: sorry boss said to ban you