What’s better than Roses on your Piano? Tulips on your Organ.

*at Thanksgiving dinner* Me: One of you is eating poison green bean casserole. Everyone: *gasp* Me: Just kidding you all are.

Why did italy cross the road? To switch sides

What do all my friends and my dad have in common? i didnt have either growing up

Collection of totally offensive jokes, not for the faint hearted

Chicago really is the windy city. After all, they did just win de World Series

I was passing a Chinese restaurant the other day on my way home… And thought “when in Rome” so I got general tso’s

No matter how kind you are… No matter how kind you are, German kids are kinder.

I remember staying up all night waiting for Santa to come When he was done he’d pull up his pants and say “See ya next year kid”

How’s your homophone needlepoint project coming along? Sew sew