Great News! If you quit being cunty the whole world will stop being against you!

How are men like carpet tiles? If you lay them properly the first time around you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.

what’s the best part of… Having sex with a transvestite? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through.

What’s the thing that is about 5-6 inches long, it goes into mouth and when you rub it back and forth it produces a white liquid? A toothbrush.

My wife and I use the pull-out method of birth control where we pull out our phones and ignore each other every night

Shouting “put your hands in the air like you just don’t care!” is a fun way to bring a party atmosphere to a bank robbery.

Is mingerbread the opposite of stud muffin?

asbestos huh? if what i’m hearing is true they shoudl call it asworstos .

I used to be schizophrenic… but now we’re ok.

What do you call a Roman guy with pubes in his mouth? Gladiator