If you shout “I am a STRONG BLACK woman” in front of the mirror enough times then security comes and drags you out of the Gap changing room.

[high seas] FIRST MATE: The men be ready to attack PIRATE: Arr! FIRST MATE: Oh sorry…the men “are” ready to attack

Have you heard about the guy who finally overcame his coprophilia? He got off scat-free

Where do Siths do their shopping? At the Darth Mall

I miss the days when you could talk about a brand and they didn’t talk back.

bad “it’s so hot….” one-liners Two that I came up with… It’s so hot that Stryper sang “To Today With the Devil” It’s so hot that Karen Carpenter ate an ice cream sandwich. your turn!

Advice to women: don’t confuse men with credit cards.

DETROIT: im doing a secret show at 8pm tonigt at a small club dowmtown! mesage me for details!!! ME: omg a talkimg city

Hey friend wanna hear a joke ? Another time.

What does a baby computer call its father? Data.