Why don’t women blink during sex? They don’t have time!

Two Congressmen are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, “Pass the soap.” The second one says, “No SOPA, radio!”

Which porn video release are you most looking forward to? I’m excited about the next but one

Does liking a sad status update mean I’m sympathetic for them or I like that they are sad?

What’s the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana? The Mercedes can easily reach 40.

My friend got caught having a wank in the showers on a school trip It completely ruined our visit to Auschwitz

LEAVE ME ALONE GRANDMA I’M ENTERTAINING LITERALLY TENS OF PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET

What do you call Batman skipping out on church? Christian Bail

A message from a girl Received a messages from a girl, “come quickly to me, there’s nobody home.” I went. Indeed, there was no one.

The future The world in 10 years… MTV announcer: a new punk rock band making its way to the top 100… Band leader: I’m sorry did you just assume our genre?