How many white girls does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, it has to be an odd number, because they literally cannot even.

What’s the most awkward aspect of bar-tending at an internet cafe? You have to deal with people who forget to close their tabs.

[Heaven] Saint Peter: Welcome to the pearly gates! You’re here early; you must be dying to get in! LOL Me: Too soon…

I hate being bipolar it’s awesome

Apple needs to build a product for older gentlemen who have become fathers. iPop

Marrige has 3 rings… The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.

A joke so absolutely filthy I can’t put it in the title Rio Olympics

Its so busy at work… I feel like a priest and all my tickets are altar boys, I need to touch them all.

What do you call the Wal Mart cheer? Spelling classes!

What does a rock artist say to a jazz musician? To the airport please