I’m sitting outside drinking myself into a stupor. I may feel like shit tomorrow but by God, so will the mosquitoes.

A day in the life of a dick A dick has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his next door neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy and his owner beats him on a daily basis.

Poor superman.he can’t go commando without the whole world noticing

Guess drunk? I’m what!

Who was Mako Mori’s existentialist monk brother? Memento.

What do you call a fat Asian? A chunk

Why did the lettuce blush? Because he saw the salad dressing

Justin Bieber has grown a mustache. His transformation into a teenage mexican girl is now complete.

News, just in: Truck Stolen! A lorry containing 150 pallets of Viagra was stolen last night. Police are searching the country for a gang of hardened criminals.

I bought a universal remote the other day and I thought to myself “Wow, this changes everything!”