What did Ned Stark say when his daughter told him that she was pregnant? Are ya?

How did the hipster got his tongue burnt? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

What is green, has 8 wheels, and flies? A garbage truck

I didn’t expect a bug to crawl out of my Meth stash… But it just came out of the blue.

Women order the fuck out of coffee. “Give me a chocolate mocha latte with 3 sugars, 2 Splendas, 4 elf pubes and 2 grams of pixie dust.”

Fifteen years ago we had Johnny Cash, Steve Jobs and Bob Hope. Now we have no cash, no jobs and no hope.

If she is married or has a boyfriend make sure she swallows the evidence.

“Algebra.” really laid back oceanographer, responding to “What’s that green stuff?”

When drinking liquor while watching baseball, at what point will you be the most drunk? Bottom of the fifth, of course.

Ask me if I’m a tree. “Ok, are you a tree?” No