(NSFW) What did cinderella do when she got to the ball? Gagged.

Women’s magazines: 20 pages “accept yourself” 40 pages “loose 30kgs in 4 weeks” And Cake recipes..

What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire

What do Syrian refugees eat for breakfast? Syrial!

Don’t be nervous if someone is driving ahead of you- the world is round, just think that you’re driving first!

What do you call a “to-go” dish ordered from German-Italian restaurant? Alfredosehen

What do you call a semi truck owned by an Italian? That rig a Tonys.

I’m on a dinghy!

Pretty certain the only way I’d ever be involved in gardening is if someone murdered me & planted me in their garden.

God only gives you what you can handle. Really? Because I’m pretty sure I could handle way more money.