What do you call a herd of masturbating cattle? Beef Strokin-off!

“The best part of waking up was the Folgers in my cup” – Suicide note, first draft

What’s the last sound you hear before a pube hits the floor? tppppthh….”spit sound”

What washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves.

Experimental Music sounds like a cool idea until you realize that the experiment is how bad something can be, and still be called music.

Top uses for Golf Balls: 1. Describing hail storms 2. Describing tumors 3. Playing golf

Have you seen the world’s biggest thermometer? I hear it’s fair in height

I got a vasectomy at Sears! Was really inexpensive, but now whenever I get an erection, my garage door opens.

is that a banana in your pocket or oh cool yeah good source of potassium.

What’s the difference… Q: What’s the difference between a brown-noser and an ass-kisser? A: Depth Perception