I asked my daughter’s dentist for her favorite joke. Was not disappointed. What is the latest fad among teenage mermaids in the city of Atlantis? Taking shellfies with their shellphones.

Why is gay marriage still a thing? Because people are fucking assholes

I can’t believe after all that shit they’re back together again… >who? >my ass cheeks.

If a man named Terry Richards kills you because you insulted him; what did you die of? Dissing Terry.

The frog was double parked… And that’s why she got Toad.

Mexican Carpet layer. What does a Mexican put under his carpet? Underlay! Underlay!

what do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates? a tear-jerker

Its cool to pee into blue toilet water and watch it turn a different color… just not when it turns purple

What goes “quick, quick”? Duck in a hurry. (c) beatattitude 2014

What does a dog like to wear when it’s exercising? Pants.