– If any person believes that these 2 shouldn’t be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or… – THE PRIEST ALREADY SAID THAT! – Ugh, I do.

women’s rights

Why did Tiger Woods cheat on his wife? He’s used to playing 18 holes.

.. How are you on your grind, if you’re on twitter all the time?

Yesterday, I subscribed to Bigflix …And now my new favorite word starts with a P and ends with O R N… That’s “Popcorn”!! What were you thinking you pervert!!!

My girlfriend tried to tell me an abuse joke But I beat her to the punch

If someone ever challenges you to a fight, pull your pants off and chase them crotch first. I’m currently undefeated with this method.

I heard the comedians at Jamestown were pretty bad… The punchlines were so shitty everyone died.

My dog has figured out I’m Chinese. He totally tried to make a run for it. Silly dog, I’m not going to eat you until I train a replacement.

A shitty geometry joke What do you call a fancy bisexual scottish cane? An anglo biscepter