My favorite workout is a mix between a lunge and a crunch, I call it lunch.

What do you get when you cross Ebola and Tourette Syndrome?

The Final Jeopardy category is: Movies. The answer is: 300. The correct question is: on a scale of 1 to 10, how gay was that movie?

A math joke told to me by another redditor… So… What did the integral say to the equation? “I don’t even…”

Remember how terrified Sarah Connor was when the Terminator came around the corner @ the hospital in T2? IMAGINE IF IT HAD BEEN STEVE HARVEY

How do you find a blind man on a nude beach? It ain’t hard….

Turkey shot down Syrian helicopter at the border. How did they train it to do that?

I may not look good naked, but I’m a beautiful person on the insi…. Hahahaha just kidding I look great naked

I told my wife she should call me a champion bullrider… Because I consistently last 8 seconds riding a horned animal.

Therapist: So what’s the problem? Wife: He thinks he’s a flamingo. Me: That’s it! I’m putting my foot down. *lowers foot that was raised*