Whoever coined the phrase coined the phrase is a fucking asshole.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot It got so bad, eventually we had to take his bike away

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, except for bears, bears will kill you.

I wonder if both Wright Brothers were behind their inventions, or it was just one & their mother yelling “Wilbur, you include your brother!”

I’m really bad at making at fences Oops, wrong place for this post

Those Valentine’s Day displays at the entrance of every store are like surprise parties for your loneliness.

Little does this young woman in the house behind mine who just closed the curtains know that it was the curtains I was looking at.

What did Beyonce say when Jay-Z refused anal? If you liked it you should had put a ring muscle on it!

What’s the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? No one’s ever paid to have a lentil on their face.

God’s last name isn’t damn. Well technically it’s “Jean God Van Damn”