What’s the difference between a jew and a dollar? It’s illegal to burn a dollar.

What’s black, purple, and hates sex? The kid in my trunk.

I wasn’t snoring.. I was dreaming I’m a dirt bike.

Yea, let’s do that Old bull and young bull are enjoying a snack atop of hill one morning, and the young bull shouts ‘let’s run down there and fuck all these heifers!’ Old bull replies ‘ let’s walk’

LPT How to beat morning wood I find my right hand does the job quite nicely.

A man goes to a doctor. The doctor examines him and finds out he has five penises. The doctor says, “That’s amazing! How do your pants fit?” The man says, “Like a glove.”

The Chipotle I went to apologized for not having any lettuce today. I said “It’s cute that you think I’m here for that.”

A neutron walks into a bar… …and asks “how much for a drink?” The bartender replies “For you, no charge.”

Knock Knock Who’s there ! Blue ! Blue who ? Blue away with the wind !

When I killed a… When I killed a honeybee dad told me no honey for a week. When I killed a butterfly he said no butter for a week. Well mom just killed a cockroach, should I tell her for you?