I broke up with my gym We just weren’t working out.

I am not pro gay. I am not even amateur gay. But, I support their rights.

What do you call an Italian hooker? A pastatute!

I gave my son some masturbation advice. “Slow the fuck down, you’re going to rip my cock off.” I told him.

Your vagina is so dry… …That Native Americans do rain dances around it.

What kind of water do you drink when the snow melts? Spring water.

Atoms make up everything… so naturally you shouldn’t trust them.

What’s the difference between a Jew and a Bullet? The Bullet leaves the chamber. Courtesy of my comrade Ivo

Fat Chinese What do you call a Chinese person? A Chink. What do you call a FAT Chinese person? A Chunk.

A rich kid sees a poor kid kicking a can down the road The rich kid says “Hey, you, what’re you doing?” The poor kid says “Moving.”