To me funny is beautiful.

I’m growing my prostate to raise awareness for moustache cancer.

Last time I got some ass My finger went through the toilet paper

Yeah, that’s it. I was an hour late for work because I forgot to adjust my clocks. That is also why I smell like liquor.

What lives in the ocean is grouchy and hates neighbours ? A hermit crab !

What does Mrs. pancake say when you compliment her on her weight? Thank you, I’m flattened! I made this joke up on my drive home and am very proud of it. You monkeys better find it funny!

Before the invention of Swiffers, people had to pick up dust with their own moist genitals.

Ugh my boyfriend’s all “Stop asking my Dad if he likes your underoos” and “Stop snap-chatting my Mom” and “Stop calling me your boyfriend”

You want to hear an old racist joke? Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Told that by an old homeless guy.

The neighbor’s dog has barked non stop for three hours. And now I know how the Chinese first discovered that dogs make a tasty snack.