Finding Nemo 3: Nemo’s mom isn’t dead. Nemo’s dad kidnapped Nemo to avoid a custody dispute. Nemo’s mom finds them. It’s a revenge tale.

What do gay horses eat? Haaaaaay!

Not sure if you’re a pretentious douchebag? Do you buy honey in a plastic flip-top bear? No? Pretentious douchebag.

“These fries are too crispy” – inventor of the microwave

Was JFK born in USA? Doubtful, he sounds Kennedyan!

There’s Only One Thing I hate More Than a Litterbug… …having a dirty car.

Why didn’t the shrimp share his food?? He was a little shellfish

What is the most popular game played by tornadoes? -Catch my drift

How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? Staple a piece of bread to the ceiling

Asked a Target employee if I could open this camera before I buy it and he said he wouldn’t even care if I killed someone in front of him.