How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? Look for the fresh prints

How many weeks are there in a light year?

How many Shia laBeouf’s does it take to change a lightbulb? NonononononononononoNONONONONONO! NONONONONONONO! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO! (he can’t.)

I can guess what state you are from with a single question! What state are you from?

A 1-2-3 punch of cow jokes **What do you call a cow with 2 legs?** *Lean beef.* **What do you call a cow with no legs?** *Ground beef.* **What do you call a masturbating cow?** *Beef strokinoff.*

How much room is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible

I don’t want to tell you how to run your company, Hostess, but liquidating just as weed becomes legal seems like a bad business decision.

Give a man a fish & he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish & he’ll plan fishing trips with his buddies to escape from his annoying wife.

I’ve spent the last six months trying to find my Mother-In-Law’s killer, but no one is willing to do it.

Wow, the last couple of elections have been great! We had a white president, then a black president, and now an orange one.