Forget a joke you read on /r/jokes? Don’t worry, it’ll be posted again next week.

This year I’ve decided I’m going to exercise religiously… That means I’m going to work out on Easter and Christmas and I’m done.

I’m not stalking you but I have managed to trace your family tree back to 1724

I swallowed a 1 coin today.. ..I went to the hospital and after poking around for 10 minutes he stuck his head up and said ‘ok go home, come back if there’s any change’ Tight bastard!

What is the difference between a boy scout and a Jew ? A boy scout returns back from camp.

There was a paradox… And ***Theseus*** parked his ***ship*** right in-between them.

What do the 12th of July and the end of an essay have in common? They’re both summary!

Did you hear about the two peanuts that got lost in the bad neighborhood last night? One was assulated, the other was shelled.

Why do Italians wear gold necklaces? So they know where to stop shaving

What does the “B” in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Benoit B Mandelbrot.