Studying abroad: Spending months in another country. Studying a broad: Spending months Facebook stalking Ashley.

What’s a parrot’s favourite game? Monopoly!

I really don’t have a clear stance on abortion On one hand I’m all for killing babies. But on the other hand I don’t support women’s rights.

Tell ’em how it ’tis, not how it ’twas: Edition 3. The joke used to be “If ya lick ‘er, it’s quicker”. Now it’s: if ya pin ‘er, yer in ‘er.

I’ve finally found some direction in life, so I’m throwing a going a way party.

Breadbowl soup should be called Arkansas soup because it’s ‘In bread’

If I had a time machine I’d go back to 900 A.D. and just scare the shit out of people with an electric toothbrush.

Knock Knock -Who’s there? -Interrupting cow with an identity crisis. -Interrupting cow w- -WOOF! WOOF!

Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only “comes” once a year

What do you call a cheating wife with a runny nose? FULL!!