What do you call a fat cow..? Your mum

What is all that useless flesh around a woman’s vagina? The woman.

Bad news guys. The 1st person who ever typed “LOL” into a keyboard just died of double AIDS.

What’s an Australian’s favorite element? Gold

How many Italians does it take to change a lightbulb… Two, one to do the job, and another to shoot all the witnesses.

The bartender says “we don’t serve particles that disrupt time flow!” A tachyon particle walks into a bar…….

TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMICS EXPLAINED: 1) Rich people make money 2) It “trickles down” to offshore banks 3) Government closes libraries/hospitals

A male prison guard asks a woman on death row what she would like for her last meal. She replies, “I don’t know, what do you want to eat?”

I’ve cut this piece of wood 3 times … … and it’s still too short. -Bob Edmiston

JESUS: heaven… must be missing an angel ME: o gee thamk u jesus ur so sweet JESUS: hehe ME: hehe JESUS: time to send u back ME: wait no what