I hate those unrealistic movies where women are friends.

What did the scientists say when they found bones on the moon? the cow didn’t make it.

The Voice Coach Voice Coach: “Let’s start with a scale.” Student: “Do, re, muuuhh, fa, so, la, ti, doooh!” Voice Coach: “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don’t take that tone with mi!”

Did you hear about the Spanish Perfume? “For hispanic and for herspanic”

If Trump replaces Obama as president, Orange will be the new Black.

My friend is a professional sleep-walker. He’s just livin the dream.

Why are Mexicans good at bow hunting? Because they hav-an-arrow! 😀

When I was a little kid, my dad would swear then say “Excuse my French” One day the teacher asked if anyone could speak a foreign language and I raised my hand

In 1839 an Arab man made the first condom The condom was made of goat intestines. In 1844, a British scientist revolutionized the condom by removing the intestines from the goat first

Life hack Use your seat belt buckle to open your beer while driving