Two gay guys are standing on a corner when a hot man walks by. Gay man 1 leans over and says, “See that guy? He’s a good fuck.” Gay man 2 says, “No shit?” Gay man 1 replies, “Well, hardly any.”

What do you call a Snorlax that wants to win a race? A cab.

I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today. I should have cooked it at Aloha temperature.

Why did the Jedi kill his master? To get to the other side.

What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’ll hate it as an adult.

From my gf Me: What are you planning on doing on MLK day? Her: I plan on sleeping all day Me: …Why? Her: I want to have dreams too

How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb??

What’s red and green and spins round & round & round? A frog in a blender.

How many Mexicans does it take to build a… Never mind, they’re already done, and they paid for it too.

A man walks into a bar with a gun and yells “WHO SLEPT WITH MY WIFE! I’M GONNA KILL ‘EM!” A man calmly stands up and says, “You ain’t got enough bullets, mate.”